I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
