Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
