We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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