I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
