I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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