We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
