i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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