I look better un-naked...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Randomize
