I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
