the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
