Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
