you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
