If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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