i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
