You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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