i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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