oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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