Are we in a gay sports bar?
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
