I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Randomize
