I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
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