Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
