i think my tv is drunk
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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