We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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