Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
