he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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