was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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