so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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