I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I am one with the molecules
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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