Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
