not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
