She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
