Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
