And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
