AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
