So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
