it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
