AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I need a beard to bite.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
