yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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