Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
