I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Randomize
