Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
