It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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