the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
