Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Randomize
