Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
