So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
