shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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