so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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