I wanna bring you to show and tell
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I party with great urgency now.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
