that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
