if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
