u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize