5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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