you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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