um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
