Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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