My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize