He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
