i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
