I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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