I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
