He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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