HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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