how can u be prego again
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
