if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
