Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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