I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
