i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
