Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
