i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
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