garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
