i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
