Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
