here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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