I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize