i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
